it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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