I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
