i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
