Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
