Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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