I wish I could punch you in the face.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize