she woke up with a sticky ear
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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