Barsexuality is the new black.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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