Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
