i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
