me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ketchup is God's man juice
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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