Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
