Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
