do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize