I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
