That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
