i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize