people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
