Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
