you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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