It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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