the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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