And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
