That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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