We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dignity is for republicans.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
