just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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