I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
