i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
home. puking in laundry basket.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
