Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
