My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize