I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
