Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
