Nicole vs. Life
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
