I'm really into asian looking animals
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
