what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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