ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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