using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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