is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
