and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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