heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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