Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
