"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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