Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
