Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!