I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
