I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
