I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
4 words: hood of his car
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
