Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
