I hope mine doesn't look like that
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
