I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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