Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
