she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My pussy is not your playground.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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