I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
