I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
