Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
