What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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