Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize