We're facebook friends in real life
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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