Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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