I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
