Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
