I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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